That "Fat" Skinny B!!! (Part 2)

When looking back on the first post I made I couldn't help but laugh. I got some heat from that post, a lot more than I would have thought from my skinny friends. I took a step back and just recently I got heat from my friends who aren't so skinny.

Truth is, who is 100% happy with the bumps, lumps and curves they have. I know I love one part of my body and hate the rest of it one day and then the next I'm trying to see if I can get Spanx to make me look like J Lo. Here's the thing with the skinny little girls in your life who complain about their bodies, their lumps and their jiggles - they got them to, just in a different package.

I like to tell people the one thing that fat girls have that skinny girls do is the knowledge that they are fat. Haha. Sounds stupid right? We'll, think about it. What's the worst thing someone can say (NOT CALL) a woman? Usually that is fat. When you have the knowledge and power to say "Yeah, I know," what's really left to talk about. Nothing.

Now there is something new that has been burning the wire lately, and it's the whole idea that our friends make us fat. ... ... ... WHAT THE HELL? Now, I'm assuming they mean that your FAT friends make you FAT. So, I've read some things online, I've watched some blogs and recently ordered Chalene Extreme to try to tighten my own jiggle, and they all say the same things -Your friends are making you fat.

Now, I have been known to eat nothing but chips and dip and slimjims every now and then for dinner, but I don't encourage others to do the same. Do my girls and I go to dinner? Yes. BUT, this idea is doing nothing more than reflecting blame for weight gain on someone other than YOURSELF. You're the one placing food it your mouth, not me.

What's even more interesting is that these articles are not directed at the women of substance helping or warning them no, they are directed at the thin woman.

1. I don't care if you eat a scoop of ice cream or a damn gallon of it, you are still eating crap. No matter how big WE are doesn't impact how big you are UNLESS, you are trying to become a BBW, then we can talk.

2. Where is the accountability here? BBW are expected to be held accountable for their food choices but thin women can blame it on friends? How the hell is that fair?

Whatever the case, fat is not contagious and stop blaming your friends for your own poor food choices.

Simple Enough

Have you ever looked at someone and then turned to look at yourself to see if you are similar in build or shape?

Again and again

All this talk of dieting and what one should do to be more physically fit is just exhausting me. For the love of God, I'm sick enough over it. I've been to more doctors and nutritionists to understand the fundamental processes of food. We need food for energy and to make our body work. It's function is fuel. Simple right?

I'm Back!

I needed a little time to get things in order. Granted, I wanted to be able to continue blogging and see where this would take me, but like most things, I got distracted. It's funny how one person can attempt to do something so simple and it turns into something it's not. I was being almost tormented by a few people who thought that writing a blog like this would hurt me more than help me.

Frustration set in as some of the people who I loved the most and felt closest too thought that this type of a blog would allow me to excuse the fact that I'm fat instead of motivating me and other woman to accept that although I'm bigger, I'm still healthy, smart, beautiful and exciting. I can't really explain it, but all of the sudden my attempts to share frustration and at times anger, worried them. I just couldn't see why.

I do see it from their side, but there is a part of me that is so resentful that they slowed me down on my attempt to share my feelings and discredited my emotions. My own boyfriend was worried that this little blog that very few people read, would make me into something I was not. I had friends who told me some pretty rotten crap and I took time to evaluate the situation.

I've decided on one thing - I don't give a crap.

Here is what it breaks down to. This is what I want to do in my time, in my own place and if no one reads it, then so be it. I'm not trying to get a million readers just find my own voice. I am going to sound stupid, silly, bitchie, shitty, nasty and maybe even rude at times. I may cry or laugh but  simply don't care.

For the first time, I get it. This is about... me. I think other women appreciate that.

Big Girl in a Skinny World

Big Girl in a Skinny World
This is a repost from MarieClaire.com and not my original writings

I'm the most stylish among my friends. Growing up in Miami's tight-knit Cuban community, I was the girl everyone sought out for fashion advice, the one who transformed boring outfits into head-turning looks with the flick of a collar or the cinch of a belt. Of course, it surprised no one that I decided to pursue a career as a fashion stylist—though at 5'2" and 220 pounds, I'd need an elaborate pulley system and a can of Crisco to shimmy into the clothes I dress models in. Instead, I'm relegated to the plus-size racks, where trendy usually translates into "when's your due date" empire waists and cinch-sack drawstrings. It's not easy being chic, but it's an epic struggle when you're a big girl. 

Case in point: Not long ago, while interning at a fashion trade publication, I scored a last-minute invitation to an industry cocktail party. I was giddy with anticipation—I can't believe I get to mingle with Marc Jacobs! But my joy quickly turned to dread when I realized that I was wearing boyfriend jeans and an oversize blazer, hardly appropriate for this Stoli-and-stilettos mixer. As I stood in the fashion closet, scanning the sparkly numbers that would barely make it up my thigh, I frantically weighed my options. There wasn't enough time to run home and change, and dashing over to the nearby Banana Republic was out of the question—their XLs are typically available only online. With literally nothing to wear, I bagged the event and spent much of the evening sulking on my couch.

I've struggled with weight—and how to camouflage it—my whole life. The skinniest I've ever been was in high school, when I weighed 150 pounds and subsisted on nothing but undressed salads. I long ago made peace with the fact that I'll never look good in a slinky dress or pleated paper-bag-waist pants, even if Coco Chanel herself came back from the dead to hand-stitch them for me. So I stick to cuts that always flatter—even in a size 18—like wrap dresses and pencil skirts. Then I'll style up dowdy items with high-end accessories, like the staggeringly awesome Louboutins I scored for Christmas or the YSL bag I recently got on sale. Big girls love accessories—they always fit, no size tags required.

My most persistent, most daunting wardrobe challenge is finding that perfect, all-occasion pair of slimming, lengthening, ass-hugging jeans. Let's face it, it's a maddening task for girls even half my size, but I go through at least a few pairs of jeans every year, routinely wearing holes in the area where my thighs rub together. My requirements: no muffin top, butt crack, or camel toe. That's a tricky set of demands considering that most jeans for the size-14-and-up set are either woefully ill-fitting or designed like industrial coveralls—solely to hide the body, style be damned. I suspect that's why so many big girls squeeze into sizes far too small for their ample builds. At least sausages have shape, right?

Still, I won't settle when it comes to jeans and insist on buying only those pairs that make me feel comfortable, sexy, and confident. They must work for my body. Which is why I've spent untold hours in countless fitting rooms squeezing into hundreds of pairs of relaxed fits, boot-cuts, straight-legs, and low-rises.

That "Fat" Skinny B!!! (Part 1)

I have this friend you see. She’s wonderful and I love her face off to death, but I find more and more that skinny people who think they are fat make me in-freaking-sane. Now, as most of you know, I tend to write in a professional and compassionate manner, but girls, how much can we possibly take of our friends ranting on and on that they are fat, plump, pudgie, or thick when they are none of the above? I can no longer do it.

There is something beautiful in every one of us. None of us are perfect. We need to accept that and move on. Yet, some people can’t. We all have that friend, the one who stops and glances in every mirror checking her hair, her profile, and her butt. We have that friend that lifts their shirt just a little to have a glance at their tummy and groan as they slap their non-existent pooch area. What is it that I’m supposed to say to this girl about her weight?

Truth is, I want to smack her. Smack her hard in the face with a loaded baked potato and tell her to eat it all, even the skin and make sure she drinks that entire glass of milk. Alas, I can’t. I don’t really feel like a restraining order will do much for my blogging or keeping my real job. But, what do we do? What do we say and more importantly, how do they feel about me if I’m twice their size?

Them: God, I am so fat! What the hell was I thinking when I ate... (fill in the dots here).

Me: Same thing I was – You were hungry

What I should of said – (You aren’t fat, you’re actually just out of your damn mind. You should have eaten two you skinny B!)

Them: Have you seen the size of my ass?!

Me: Have you seen the size of mine?

Then: Oh, shut up, that’s different.

(How the hell is it different? I way 150lbs more than you! That’s what the hell the difference is!)

Them: Grrr, do you see this roll?

Me: What roll? Your pants are too damn tight girl.

Them:  The pants are fine. I'm talking about this... this...This muffin-top!

Me: (You don’t have a muffin-top you ass, your pants are just a size too small.)

THIS WOULD BE THE SKINNY VERSION OF A MUFFIN TOP - BUY A SIZE BIGGER!

THIS WOULD BE THE ASSUMPTION OF A PLUMP WOMAN AND HER CLOTHING!

Check Out The Book of The Week!!!

Hey My Pretties,

I just read a great book full of awesome low-cal tasty food!!! Be sure to check it out in the Book of the Week Section!!!

Here's a sneak peek at what The View Thought!!!

Please click on the book for more information!!!

value="http://www.youtube.com/v/QwRVioa8T68&hl=en_US&fs=1">

I also have and love (Click on the photos for more info):

GIVE AWAY LADIES!!!!

Hey my beautiful ladies, it’s been some time since I last wrote you all and a lot has gone on but no worries. Big Fat Secrets is up and running and to show you how serious I am I’m giving away a great goodie pack full of some awesome accessories, make-up and other items that every beautiful woman needs. (You will need to provide me with a mailing address and contact information should you win).

When I started this blog I thought it was going to be about ranting, and yes, it will be, but the more I read my tweets from people, direct emails and messaging I’m finding that women who are beautiful on the inside and out and are wonderfully curvy just need a place to share ideas about life, beauty, fashion and fitness without being judged. I’ve had a lot of direct contact from you ladies.  So I welcome and encourage you to become part of this community. I will continue to answer you private but why not share the love?

This give-away will be basic (the first of many) and will be about introducing people to Big Fat Secrets and having them become part of our community. The contest will be on a point system (From Saturday July 24, 2010 to Saturday July 31^st 12pm EST) where you will receive a:

1. Point for every RETWEET that you post on Twitter in regards to the giveaway
2. Point for every TWEET / RETWEET about the Big Fat Secrets Blog Page
3. Point for every POST you make on the Big Fat Secrets Facebook Page
4. Point for every COMMENT you make on the Big Fat Secret Blog Page about the blogs posted from July 24^th to the 31^st).
5. Point for any direct message you send to me with blog suggestions, articles you’ve written, review you’ve done or a cute fashion pic you’d like to have highlighted. This can be posted to Big Fat Secrets anonymously if you like).
6. Point for becoming a fan/follower of the Big Fat Secret Blog Page or Facebook.

           

(Additional points may be given at any time and I reserve the right to change, modify or adjust the give-away)

Why Can’t I Just Be Beautiful?

Why Can’t I Just Be Beautiful?

I made a Tweet just the other day on twitter about something that really bothers me about people in general and it seemed, from the number of RTs, direct messages and emails that I received that this seems to bother a number of women also. I want to know, why can’t I JUST be beautiful.

Now hold your horses there, I’m not a dog by any means, and I’m not drop dead gorgeous by any other. I’m just plain old me. I have big brown eyes, dark hair, nice skin and a round curvy body. I’m not thin or toned; I’m not in shape or perfect. I’m not ashamed of my body, I mean let’s face it, I made it this way and it’s not like people don’t know what I look like, but it’s more than that.

I got a call the other night from one of my best friends who is, interesting enough, dating my boyfriend’s best friend from high school. Anyway, while they were out with some old high school friends of her boyfriend someone asked what I was like. They of course talked about witty sense of humor and awesome personality but when asked what I looked like the response was, and I quote what one of my boyfriends male friends said was, “She has a real pretty face and big old boobs.”

Now, let me ask. Why the hell couldn’t he just have said I was pretty? I don’t understand this. Let me rephrase this, I don’t understand why it’s necessary to comment that my “face” is pretty. Isn’t that what it means to be pretty, that you are attractive in the face? The answer, my beautiful ladies, is YES.  Let me list the reasons why this happens:

1. The size of my ass is too big
2. The size of my shoulders are too broad
3. The size of my stomach is not flat
4. The size of my legs are thicker

LOL. Now, I know this is his attempt to say “She’s pretty but kind of fat” without actually calling me fat as my best friend was there, but sweet baby Jesus  - is it that big of a deal? I mean, I am pleasantly plump. If I had a nice body the response would have been “She’s hot,” but because I don’t, you mention that I have a “pretty face.”

Now, this is not the only time that this has happened to me this week. I go into JC Pennies for a pair of dress slacks for work and, as I’m sure you can tell, I’m very open about my body. I come out, loving the fit of the pants from mid thigh to floor but am unhappy that you can see every dimple in my ass. The sales associate asks me if I like them and I say, “They are a little snug in the rear, if only it was smaller.” I giggle. Her response? “ But you have such a cute face.” Cute? I am not 12 and what does my cute face have to do with my big ass? NOTHING. It’s a poor attempt to make me feel attractive because she is uncomfortable with my body more than I am.

Ladies

1. Never apologize for your body. Not to anyone and especially not to your self.
2. Look at yourself naked. I know it’s scary but just do it. This is what you look like. Clothing does not change your size, your curves or the things you don’t like about it. People know what you look like and you are beautiful.
3. Tell yourself you are beautiful – all of you. Even the parts you wish you didn’t have. Don’t say that just your face or your nice rack or great ass is what is beautiful about you. YOU are beautiful because it is part of you.
4. Ignore people. They can be ignorant. I often find that most people are uncomfortable with their bodies and it’s just silly.
5. Remember to tell yourself that you are beautiful – all of you and that your beauty on the inside will, and does, shine through. People will see that.

Confidence is part of this game we have to play since we have a little more to offer. Don’t ever feel like you don’t fit in anywhere because of your rocking body. Smile, have great posture and flirt a little. Why can’t you just be pretty? Because you’re not, you’re beautiful!

    Your Thoughts:

1. What instances have you ran into like this?
2. Do you find that people often refer to your face versus you?
3. How do you feel/handle situations like this?

Trashy or Trendy

Trashy or Trendy

Ladies, ladies ladies. I am finding that some of you surprise me with your clothing choices. I want you all to be the confident beautiful women that you are but I’ve been finding more and more of you wearing clothing styles because they come in your size despite the fact that they don’t fit your body type. A good friend of mines daughter is a beautiful girl with some meat on her bones and informed me, through Facebook, that just because they make clothing styles in your size doesn’t mean that women should wear them. I agree. I’m not saying you have to but commit to TRYING ON ALL CLOTHING BEFORE YOU BUY!

Great examples:

The Skinny Jean – I’ve not seen many plus-size women pull this look off. Those that do so successfully are usually plus sized not because they are extra curvy or are a little heavy, these women are plus sized because they are just big. I don’t mean big in a negative way, but that they are long and thick. Because they have longer legs and torso, these women can pull off a slim jean with a narrow opening at the bottom. I urge you my beautiful ladies to please, with all your might steer clear of this fashion faux pas. Many of the plus size clothing lines carry these in our size but anything that is going to hug and narrow just one part of your body is going to accentuate all the bad parts.  If you are thin in the legs and heavy in the middle you too need to avoid this look. Although it may look good on your legs, the top will look oversized.

The One-Piece – I’ve seen a number of one piece / jumpsuit style short/pant sets floating out there also. I warn you, please avoid. If you are shopping in the plus size or extended size areas of clothing stores, this is one piece to try on, but know, that I’ve not seen one woman who can carry this off if she has a little cushion where cushion is normally found.

Super Low Cut tops – Ladies, I find that many of us girls who are perfectly plum have some pretty nice ta-tas for show. A little cleavage is always nice especially when perfectly placed breasts can make a waste seem thinner and hips more proportionate to the body. Boobs should still be considered a blessing and although many women follow the rule “It’s not a boob unless you see nipple,” not all people agree. Bathing suites are one thing but your shirt should show an appropriate amount of cleavage. Deep V’s and plunging necklines actually look great on women with less of a chest versus those with a huge chest. If your grandmother would be concerned that you may end up with a “chest cold” layer you shirt with a lacy camie or a buttoned cardigan. A little peep show is usually sexier than a strip tease.

Fashion is a little bit trickier for us. We just can’t look at something the way someone who is a little thinner does. We have to look at things like:

1.  Fabric – Does it lay nice? Coverage? Stretch?

            The way a fabric lays on you is really important. Cheap fabric like nylon and rayon and spandex        are not always the most flattering –even if they are comfy or trendy. When your body isn’t flawless these fabrics ride on your skin, so even if you wear black, people can see areas that you may want to hide. Designers love stretch and sheer material for larger women. Why? A little stretch is nice as it             hugs where sometimes fabric can sag, but taking a piece of fabric and making it thinner by stretching it over your body isn’t always flattering.

            Choose fabrics with a little weight and that are natural. The more shine and

            stretch they have the less quality and fit they will have.

2. Cut  - What does this mean?

            Look for fabric that has lines / cut that draw the eye in at the thinnest parts of your body. You want balance. If you have a big chest look for lines that draw in under the chest and don’t hug at the waist. If you have a big middle look for pants that are slightly larger at the bottom. Balance and proper fit to the body is important when you want to look as though you have style.

3.  Style – Classic should be essential

            This is the hardest rule for women to follow. Your main wardrobe can be fun but             remember that classics will always be just that – classy. Find good classic fitting clothing and then, from there add the funky trendy pieces. Many of the styles you find are going to be way over-priced so make them part of your wardrobe by adding them to the classics you already have. Keep in mind the fabric and cut.

            Look for classics like button-down, trouser jeans, good fitting slacks and jackets and add great shoes, jewelry and other essentials as you come across them. This doesn’t mean you have to be boring or all tailored and tan, just that the reason why classics are, well, classic is that they fit just about every body type and can be dressed up or down. Throw in risky items like             revealing camies, corset or nylons under these garments and show a little to spice it up. Find your style and rock it!

Your Thoughts:

1. What have you seen that really works for plus size women?
2. What have you seen that many plus size women do that’s just a mess?
3. What tricks do you have to offer?

The Latest Trends for Plus-Size Figures

The Latest Trends for Plus-Size Figures

ow to adapt the latest looks for a curvier figure.

By Sasha Emmons

I Like This! (5)

Comments

 
Photo courtesy of Silhouettes

Who says trends are only reserved for size-2 teenagers? Thanks to a slew of fashion-forward plus-size stores, women of all sizes and shapes can partake in the latest styles. We asked the experts for their tips on how to translate runway trends for real figures. Truth be told, some of the current looks are challenging, no matter what your size.

"I think this season is one of the trickiest for plus-size women," says Clinton Kelly, co-host of TLC's What Not to Wear. "For crying out loud, skinny jeans can make a size 6 look like a size 12." Here, the pros offer their secrets on how to adapt trends for a curvier shape:

Skinny Jeans and Leggings
Although the boot cut is still a universally flattering classic, slimmer silhouettes are the look du jour. Fran Kauchner, style expert at plus-size retailer Silhouettes, says slim jeans and leggings are popular this year, despite the fact that they can be hard to wear. She recommends a denim legging that marries two great trends and looks modern tucked into a high boot. But Kelly counsels caution. "Skinny jeans put all the emphasis on your hips, thighs, and butt. Some women don't mind that, but most women I know want those body parts to look smaller," he says. If you do want to wear skinnies, "make sure you're doing them in a dark wash, and emphasizing your waist somehow."

Tunics

Today's tunics are a godsend to those of us who love comfort dressing, but be careful with the cut. If your top is too roomy, you could look like you're wearing a tent. "The last thing a plus-size girl should wear is a shapeless tunic that covers the butt. She'll look top-heavy and bigger than she really is," says Kelly. "Tunics are great if they narrow a little at the waist and have darting at the bust." Kauchner recommends embellished and bohemian styles, or a "tress" -- a dress/tunic hybrid that will have the tailoring and the length in one piece.

Belts

Cinching the waist is an easy way to create an hourglass -- and to capitalize on a huge trend. "Wear a chain belt so it's not hugging tightly," says Kauchner. "Wider belts can break up the top half of your body." Should you position it at your hips, natural waist -- or even higher? "Most women are smallest under the bustline, so raise that belt higher than your natural waist -- right at the bottom of your rib cage," says Kelly.

Boots

Tucking pants into knee boots has been a big look for several years now, but now even those who don't have twig-like legs can pull off this style. Silhouettes, J.Crew, Lane Bryant, and Ann Taylor are among the retailers that offer extended-calf boots. Booties also look chic this year -- and fit everyone, regardless of calf size.

Prints

Big, bold prints -- especially animal-inspired -- have made a huge comeback and can help distract the eye from a problem area. Kauchner says a "bold, statement-driven top" with a dark bottom is a no-fail look. "Remember to keep your prints proportionate with your frame," says Kelly. "Just as a petite woman would be overwhelmed by gigantic prints, a plus-size woman can be underwhelmed by itsy-bitsy Holly Hobby florals." This daring tress from Silhouettes (pictured above) offers look-at-me swagger.

Originally published on LHJ.com, December 2006

Trendy Plus-Size Clothing! Where can YOU shop?

I find that for many of the ladies out there with a curve or two (or in my case three, four and yes, five,) the most difficult thing is not exactly finding clothes that fit – it’s finding clothing in general. For this installment of Friday Fashion Finds I thought that the best place to start is to show you that there are places to find clothing that fits and surprise surprise may even be trendy!!!

Once you find somewhere that sells clothing in your size the fun starts. Now keep in mind this very important point – take a chance! Fashion isn’t just about what is stylish right now, it’s about classic lines, colors and items that FIT you the way you want them to!

I understand that many retailers are only selling items in larger or extended sizes online only (the why is another discussion entirely), but that doesn’t mean you have to stick to blacks and grays or cardigans and baggy shirts. Take a chance and worst case - return it! I’ll link to some strategies for shopping online but in the meantime start looking at these places which carry beautiful clothing in our sizes!!!

One thing to remember is this – in plus-size clothing you don’t always get what you pay for. Many retailers take advantage of using cheaper, thinner material so mind some classic guideline when purchasing clothing. Most well known designers sell extended sizes. If you’ve never ordered plus size clothing online try to stay to clean lines, classic styles and basics. As you get more and more comfortable with the retailer you’ll feel more confident trying other styles, cuts, colors and fits.

Below is a list of plus-size retailers that don’t break the bank along with their links. They are alphabetized below. A higher-end fashion list will be given later this week. If you’ve purchased clothing from the retailers below feel free to share your thoughts. These are a few of my favorites but there are tons out there. I tell people to start at places like T.J. Max, Ross, Marshalls and Gabes when trying something new. Hell – I’ve gotten some nice things from GoodWill too!!!

$ - Least Expensive

$$ - Less Expensive

$$$-Generally Affordable



$$ Alloy – http://www.alloy.com

$$$ Ashley Stewart - http://www.ashleystewart.com

$$ B&Lu - http://www.bandlu.com

$ Deb – http://www.debshops.com

$ Dots – http://www.dots.com

$$ Faith21 by Forever21 - http://www.forever21.com

$$ Gap – http://www.gap.com

$$$ Lane Bryant - http://www.lanebryant.com

$$$ Macy’s - http://www.macys.com

$ Old Navy – http://www.oldnavy.com

$$ Sealed With a Kiss - http://www.swakdesigns.com

$$ Target - http://www.target.com

$$$ Torrid – http://www.torrid.com

$$ WetSeal – http://www.wetseal.com

EasyTONES!

So just the other day I was thinking that I’m a lazy piece of crap and I need to tighten up this body of mine. I of course began by outlining the diet that I was going to do – of course I would think that diet alone will help me or anyone else in ship shape condition. I started with the normal debate if I starve myself, eat only lettuce and tomatoes, go organic or attempt the whole diet-pill meal replacement thing – what is best I wonder? The answer? No fricking clue.
Now, I’ve counted calories before and have been successful at it. The best resource I’ve found (and that my doctor has recommended) is a site called http://www.thedailyplate.com. You are able to not only search and count calories but keep a running track of the number of calories you take in and how much you use while exercising (or in my case breathing).
So I choose counting calories (as usual) and as I make this decision be rest assured that I’m stuffing my face with mashed potatoes and decide to take a trip out to the local outlet mall. I saw a commercial for the Reebok EasyTONE shoes and a magazine ad. Hmmmmm... I wonder – does it work. Apparently the shoe is supposed to tone your leg and butt muscles by creating instability that you compensate for. I don’t know about all that, but I figure I’m just lazy enough to give it a try.
I buy a pair, which for some reason seems silly as though I’m going to have a rock-hard toned ass through what Reebok calls “balance pods.” The show cost me 90 bucks after a discount and I’ll tell you what - those shoes are comfortable as all hell. Your tush is supposed to have increased muscle activation up to 28% and 11% for thighs and calves. (I’ll let you know in the review section once I give them adequate time to use them). I’m not sure that my rear will ever look like the ads but what a great marketing campaign!

(Hey, for those girls who love flipflops apparently there is eaven an EasyTone Flip Sandle!!!)

Back to Basics

I work in a company where everyone is visible. There are very few walls and even fewer doors so any attempt at privacy is a failed one. In general I find that many people just seem to give up because of the lack of style in clothing.

In a professional environment you often hear “to be the part you have to dress the part,” but it’s so hard to do as we balance our everyday activities. EXCUSES EXCUSES PEOPLE! Come on now; let’s get our most basic attempts at getting ready for work in the morning together. When you think of the views that society has on fuller-figured women (men too!) none of them are positive. This isn’t early America or another country where a plump woman shows wealth and the ability to carry children. A plump woman can mean that she likes her double cheeseburgers, Facebook and lots of sleep. Society doesn’t care that birth control made you gain 12 pounds, that you’re bloated or that you have a thyroid problem. YOU ARE NOT BIG BONNED and who wants to sell themselves that way? Listen, let’s not bullshit each other, lets be honest. Society thinks we are sloppy, lazy and care very little about ourselves or we wouldn’t be big. This is not true of the situation so ANY attempt we make should be one that breaks the stigma. I know you ladies are beautiful, smart, wonderful caring people - but WE have to show it.

Even if you are a plus-sized woman there is no reason to look sloppy. We all have our bad days, lord knows I do too, but let’s attempt to follow some basic guidelines on care.

1. Shower.

I know right, who needs to be reminded to shower? Surprisingly LOTS of women are looking crusty at work. A washed face and fresh deodorant is not an equivalent to showering. You wonder why people say big people smell… this is why. What the hell are you gonna do if you didn’t shower, it’s mid August and the air goes down at work? Stink is what the hell you’re gonna do. Come on now ladies. (And please don’t act like you are surprised by this, I hear women all the time making comments like “I didn’t even shower this morning I was running so late!” It happens. Maybe not to you, but it does). Perfume can’t fix it and you may be the last to smell yourself.

2. Toiletries are created for a reason.

Listen, if your leg is itchy and you lift your dress pants up to scratch it and a male or female coworker sees a hairy leg – he/she is gonna talk. Now, maybe I’m making it worse then it needs to be but WHY THE HELL AREN’T YOU SHAVING YOUR DAMN LEGS?! If you have a medical reason fine, but that’s the only reason it would be acceptable. We are not in France – this is NOT acceptable. As much as I giggle, if you don’t shave because no one sees your legs no one will want to see any part of you if they think you are covered in hair. If your hair doesn’t grow fast – it must if people could see it. Armpits – if I’m making such a stink about your legs imagine what I’m gonna say about your damn pits. Use deodorant. Brush your teeth – multiple times a day (wisps and gum don’t count), clean your ears; brush your hair, USE LOTION! Whatever it is that you do, make sure you do it.

3. Hair should always have something done to it

You don’t need to wear an updo. Wash it, brush it and if need be pin it up. It doesn’t have to be fancy but at least make an attempt.

4. You don’t wear makeup? Maybe you should.

Makeup doesn’t need to be the entire paint pallet – not at all. If you naturally don’t wear makeup make sure that your skin is moisturized and apply a little Chapstic. If it’s a night out or a special meeting at work add a little mascara (no eyeliner) and a less shiny gloss. Chapstick offers a roller ball gloss that has a slight sheen or SoftLips has one that has a slight tint.

5. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOUR NAILS!

If you bite your nails file them. If you have dirt under them – clean them. Clean nails are must ladies!

6. Make sure you match! And why are your clothes wrinkled?

If you are unsure if something matches it likely looks stupid. Change. If you wish you would have ironed your shirt – change. If you do not feel confident –change.

7. What the hell do you have on your feet?

Wear nice shoes. No holes, no crocks at work (why do people do this?!), do not wear heels that are to thin to carry your big booty or heels so high you look even bigger. I recommend kitten heals for those women who like to wear a heal since they elongate the leg by adding subtle height without having you tower. If you like a flat try a small pointed flat as they will draw the eye out from the leg making it longer and leaner. Rounded shoes stop the eye and square chunky shoes give you Frankenstein short stalky legs – even if you don’t have them.

Are you like me and go barefoot while sitting at your desk? No dirty feet ladies, manicured toe nails and smooth feet. If you don’t have those keep a pair of trendy slippers under your desk!

8. Smile!!!

When you smile it tightens the muscles in your face – you look slimmer, happier and more pleasant. Life is too short to be miserable ladies. You are beautiful – smile!!!

More than anything LOVE YOU!!!

Love and Hugs,
Kristen


Some of my favorites for daily wear:

Full Figure Fashion Week and Sonsi - Something New!

While browsing and researching my next blog article I ran into something very interesting, something I've never seen before. It seems that, despite my continual complaining that there is a lack of resources for real life plus-size women I ran into an upcoming event in New York next week. Apparently there is a Full Figure Fashion Week sponsored by Sonsi a new networking site from the face of Lane Bryant. More information will follow but, if you're interested definitely take a look. 

Love and Hugs,
Kristen

The start of it all!

The more  I search for something basic and profound about beauty, health or even lifestyle of the plus size woman I find that there is nothing out there that is even remotely realistic. I look through stacks of magazines, books, articles and even through channels on the tube only to be continually disappointed by their lack of – well – truth. Granted, I’m full of as much bullshit as the next woman figuring out who she is and what the heck I’m gonna do (or what excuses) I can find in regards to my body – BUT this isn’t going to be the place for it. Not at all.

If you don’t like it – change it. If you don’t want to change it figure out how to make it work!!!

This is the first blog that will touch on a number of different weekly posted series. You’ll find that my goal of this is basic and simple – I don’t even know if anyone reads blogs anymore these days but I’m willing to put it all out there for whoever is willing to take the time to read it and  be involved, if they wish. There is a lack of resources out there for women who have bodies with bumps and curves and even some jiggle so my goal is to provide real resources for women of all sizes, who just want to cut through all the bullshit and get to the good stuff.

Random fat fact -The average size of a woman over the age of 18 is a 14. Too bad the manikins are usually a size 4-6 or in plus departments they are a 12-14 where the most popular size is a 22… no wonder things don’t look as good on me as they do on the manikins.

Got a suggestion? Just tell me. I’ve got it covered!!!

Love and Hugs,
Kristen