Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Back to Basics

I work in a company where everyone is visible. There are very few walls and even fewer doors so any attempt at privacy is a failed one. In general I find that many people just seem to give up because of the lack of style in clothing.

In a professional environment you often hear “to be the part you have to dress the part,” but it’s so hard to do as we balance our everyday activities. EXCUSES EXCUSES PEOPLE! Come on now; let’s get our most basic attempts at getting ready for work in the morning together. When you think of the views that society has on fuller-figured women (men too!) none of them are positive. This isn’t early America or another country where a plump woman shows wealth and the ability to carry children. A plump woman can mean that she likes her double cheeseburgers, Facebook and lots of sleep. Society doesn’t care that birth control made you gain 12 pounds, that you’re bloated or that you have a thyroid problem. YOU ARE NOT BIG BONNED and who wants to sell themselves that way? Listen, let’s not bullshit each other, lets be honest. Society thinks we are sloppy, lazy and care very little about ourselves or we wouldn’t be big. This is not true of the situation so ANY attempt we make should be one that breaks the stigma. I know you ladies are beautiful, smart, wonderful caring people - but WE have to show it.

Even if you are a plus-sized woman there is no reason to look sloppy. We all have our bad days, lord knows I do too, but let’s attempt to follow some basic guidelines on care.

1. Shower.
I know right, who needs to be reminded to shower? Surprisingly LOTS of women are looking crusty at work. A washed face and fresh deodorant is not an equivalent to showering. You wonder why people say big people smell… this is why. What the hell are you gonna do if you didn’t shower, it’s mid August and the air goes down at work? Stink is what the hell you’re gonna do. Come on now ladies. (And please don’t act like you are surprised by this, I hear women all the time making comments like “I didn’t even shower this morning I was running so late!” It happens. Maybe not to you, but it does). Perfume can’t fix it and you may be the last to smell yourself.

2. Toiletries are created for a reason.
Listen, if your leg is itchy and you lift your dress pants up to scratch it and a male or female coworker sees a hairy leg – he/she is gonna talk. Now, maybe I’m making it worse then it needs to be but WHY THE HELL AREN’T YOU SHAVING YOUR DAMN LEGS?! If you have a medical reason fine, but that’s the only reason it would be acceptable. We are not in France – this is NOT acceptable. As much as I giggle, if you don’t shave because no one sees your legs no one will want to see any part of you if they think you are covered in hair. If your hair doesn’t grow fast – it must if people could see it. Armpits – if I’m making such a stink about your legs imagine what I’m gonna say about your damn pits. Use deodorant. Brush your teeth – multiple times a day (wisps and gum don’t count), clean your ears; brush your hair, USE LOTION! Whatever it is that you do, make sure you do it.

3. Hair should always have something done to it
You don’t need to wear an updo. Wash it, brush it and if need be pin it up. It doesn’t have to be fancy but at least make an attempt.

4. You don’t wear makeup? Maybe you should.
Makeup doesn’t need to be the entire paint pallet – not at all. If you naturally don’t wear makeup make sure that your skin is moisturized and apply a little Chapstic. If it’s a night out or a special meeting at work add a little mascara (no eyeliner) and a less shiny gloss. Chapstick offers a roller ball gloss that has a slight sheen or SoftLips has one that has a slight tint.

If you bite your nails file them. If you have dirt under them – clean them. Clean nails are must ladies!

6. Make sure you match! And why are your clothes wrinkled?
If you are unsure if something matches it likely looks stupid. Change. If you wish you would have ironed your shirt – change. If you do not feel confident –change.

7. What the hell do you have on your feet?
Wear nice shoes. No holes, no crocks at work (why do people do this?!), do not wear heels that are to thin to carry your big booty or heels so high you look even bigger. I recommend kitten heals for those women who like to wear a heal since they elongate the leg by adding subtle height without having you tower. If you like a flat try a small pointed flat as they will draw the eye out from the leg making it longer and leaner. Rounded shoes stop the eye and square chunky shoes give you Frankenstein short stalky legs – even if you don’t have them.

Are you like me and go barefoot while sitting at your desk? No dirty feet ladies, manicured toe nails and smooth feet. If you don’t have those keep a pair of trendy slippers under your desk!

8. Smile!!!
When you smile it tightens the muscles in your face – you look slimmer, happier and more pleasant. Life is too short to be miserable ladies. You are beautiful – smile!!!

More than anything LOVE YOU!!!

Love and Hugs,

Some of my favorites for daily wear:
Softlips Organic Lip Balm, Pure Pomegranate, 0.07-Ounce Package (Pack of 6)
Neutrogena Healthy Skin Face Lotion, SPF-15, 2.5-Ounce Pump Bottles (Pack of 2)
Covergirl Lash Blast LashBlast Mascara Very Black 800

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