Saturday, July 24, 2010

Why Can’t I Just Be Beautiful?

Why Can’t I Just Be Beautiful?

I made a Tweet just the other day on twitter about something that really bothers me about people in general and it seemed, from the number of RTs, direct messages and emails that I received that this seems to bother a number of women also. I want to know, why can’t I JUST be beautiful.

Now hold your horses there, I’m not a dog by any means, and I’m not drop dead gorgeous by any other. I’m just plain old me. I have big brown eyes, dark hair, nice skin and a round curvy body. I’m not thin or toned; I’m not in shape or perfect. I’m not ashamed of my body, I mean let’s face it, I made it this way and it’s not like people don’t know what I look like, but it’s more than that.

I got a call the other night from one of my best friends who is, interesting enough, dating my boyfriend’s best friend from high school. Anyway, while they were out with some old high school friends of her boyfriend someone asked what I was like. They of course talked about witty sense of humor and awesome personality but when asked what I looked like the response was, and I quote what one of my boyfriends male friends said was, “She has a real pretty face and big old boobs.”

Now, let me ask. Why the hell couldn’t he just have said I was pretty? I don’t understand this. Let me rephrase this, I don’t understand why it’s necessary to comment that my “face” is pretty. Isn’t that what it means to be pretty, that you are attractive in the face? The answer, my beautiful ladies, is YES.  Let me list the reasons why this happens:

  1. The size of my ass is too big
  2. The size of my shoulders are too broad
  3. The size of my stomach is not flat
  4. The size of my legs are thicker

LOL. Now, I know this is his attempt to say “She’s pretty but kind of fat” without actually calling me fat as my best friend was there, but sweet baby Jesus  - is it that big of a deal? I mean, I am pleasantly plump. If I had a nice body the response would have been “She’s hot,” but because I don’t, you mention that I have a “pretty face.”

Now, this is not the only time that this has happened to me this week. I go into JC Pennies for a pair of dress slacks for work and, as I’m sure you can tell, I’m very open about my body. I come out, loving the fit of the pants from mid thigh to floor but am unhappy that you can see every dimple in my ass. The sales associate asks me if I like them and I say, “They are a little snug in the rear, if only it was smaller.” I giggle. Her response? “ But you have such a cute face.” Cute? I am not 12 and what does my cute face have to do with my big ass? NOTHING. It’s a poor attempt to make me feel attractive because she is uncomfortable with my body more than I am.

  1. Never apologize for your body. Not to anyone and especially not to your self.
  2. Look at yourself naked. I know it’s scary but just do it. This is what you look like. Clothing does not change your size, your curves or the things you don’t like about it. People know what you look like and you are beautiful.
  3. Tell yourself you are beautiful – all of you. Even the parts you wish you didn’t have. Don’t say that just your face or your nice rack or great ass is what is beautiful about you. YOU are beautiful because it is part of you.
  4. Ignore people. They can be ignorant. I often find that most people are uncomfortable with their bodies and it’s just silly.
  5. Remember to tell yourself that you are beautiful – all of you and that your beauty on the inside will, and does, shine through. People will see that.

Confidence is part of this game we have to play since we have a little more to offer. Don’t ever feel like you don’t fit in anywhere because of your rocking body. Smile, have great posture and flirt a little. Why can’t you just be pretty? Because you’re not, you’re beautiful!

    Your Thoughts:
  1. What instances have you ran into like this?
  2. Do you find that people often refer to your face versus you?
  3. How do you feel/handle situations like this?


  1. I went shopping one day and was just browsing the racks in general, when out comes a sales person and tells me that "I'd be a little more comfortable" in clothes on the racks at the back of the shop, like I need to be hidden from the view of the public eye and how dare I look at clothes that are smaller than me. Seriously now, how do you not take offence to that?!?

    I know that had nothing to do with your situation, but it felt good to get that off my chest.

  2. You have to be kidding me?! Well, most plus-size fashions are in the back of most stores. Truth is there are many items in regular sizes that we too can wear. I just don't understand some people.

  3. Oh I have a VERY good for instance on this one! So just this Saturday I was shopping and I went into a store that does not carry plus size womens clothes. The whole reason I was in the store in the first place is because my husband likes their jeans because they are long enough to fit him. Anyways...normally when you walk in this store they pounce on you because they are completely comission driven. Well I went in there with my cousin who is small enough to fit in their clothes and 3 sales people came up to her and asked if she needed help finding anything when I was the one who was clearly looking for something (ya know digging through ever pair of jeans they had)! And my cousin not understanding why they weren't asking me if I need help explained that she was there with me and I was the one that needed the help finding something. ALL 3 of the sales people just walked away and didn't even help me! How inconsiderate of them to think that just because I can't fit into their clothes means that I can't go in there and buy something!!

  4. i've actually had problems like this before and have been very forward when l go into stores that don't carry my size or if i'm looking particularly for someone else. I ignore them and tend to walk right up to the sales associate that looks most miserable at being at work and ask her where something is. If all goes well she shows me, actually does the digging for me and I'm in and out. If she is moody I ask for the manager directly and you'll get the best service ever. That I promise! :)