Why Can’t I Just Be Beautiful?
I made a Tweet just the other day on twitter about something that really bothers me about people in general and it seemed, from the number of RTs, direct messages and emails that I received that this seems to bother a number of women also. I want to know, why can’t I JUST be beautiful.
Now hold your horses there, I’m not a dog by any means, and I’m not drop dead gorgeous by any other. I’m just plain old me. I have big brown eyes, dark hair, nice skin and a round curvy body. I’m not thin or toned; I’m not in shape or perfect. I’m not ashamed of my body, I mean let’s face it, I made it this way and it’s not like people don’t know what I look like, but it’s more than that.
I got a call the other night from one of my best friends who is, interesting enough, dating my boyfriend’s best friend from high school. Anyway, while they were out with some old high school friends of her boyfriend someone asked what I was like. They of course talked about witty sense of humor and awesome personality but when asked what I looked like the response was, and I quote what one of my boyfriends male friends said was, “She has a real pretty face and big old boobs.”
Now, let me ask. Why the hell couldn’t he just have said I was pretty? I don’t understand this. Let me rephrase this, I don’t understand why it’s necessary to comment that my “face” is pretty. Isn’t that what it means to be pretty, that you are attractive in the face? The answer, my beautiful ladies, is YES. Let me list the reasons why this happens:
- The size of my ass is too big
- The size of my shoulders are too broad
- The size of my stomach is not flat
- The size of my legs are thicker
LOL. Now, I know this is his attempt to say “She’s pretty but kind of fat” without actually calling me fat as my best friend was there, but sweet baby Jesus - is it that big of a deal? I mean, I am pleasantly plump. If I had a nice body the response would have been “She’s hot,” but because I don’t, you mention that I have a “pretty face.”
Now, this is not the only time that this has happened to me this week. I go into JC Pennies for a pair of dress slacks for work and, as I’m sure you can tell, I’m very open about my body. I come out, loving the fit of the pants from mid thigh to floor but am unhappy that you can see every dimple in my ass. The sales associate asks me if I like them and I say, “They are a little snug in the rear, if only it was smaller.” I giggle. Her response? “ But you have such a cute face.” Cute? I am not 12 and what does my cute face have to do with my big ass? NOTHING. It’s a poor attempt to make me feel attractive because she is uncomfortable with my body more than I am.
- Never apologize for your body. Not to anyone and especially not to your self.
- Look at yourself naked. I know it’s scary but just do it. This is what you look like. Clothing does not change your size, your curves or the things you don’t like about it. People know what you look like and you are beautiful.
- Tell yourself you are beautiful – all of you. Even the parts you wish you didn’t have. Don’t say that just your face or your nice rack or great ass is what is beautiful about you. YOU are beautiful because it is part of you.
- Ignore people. They can be ignorant. I often find that most people are uncomfortable with their bodies and it’s just silly.
- Remember to tell yourself that you are beautiful – all of you and that your beauty on the inside will, and does, shine through. People will see that.
Confidence is part of this game we have to play since we have a little more to offer. Don’t ever feel like you don’t fit in anywhere because of your rocking body. Smile, have great posture and flirt a little. Why can’t you just be pretty? Because you’re not, you’re beautiful!
- What instances have you ran into like this?
- Do you find that people often refer to your face versus you?
- How do you feel/handle situations like this?