Tuesday, July 27, 2010

That "Fat" Skinny B!!! (Part 1)

I have this friend you see. She’s wonderful and I love her face off to death, but I find more and more that skinny people who think they are fat make me in-freaking-sane. Now, as most of you know, I tend to write in a professional and compassionate manner, but girls, how much can we possibly take of our friends ranting on and on that they are fat, plump, pudgie, or thick when they are none of the above? I can no longer do it.

There is something beautiful in every one of us. None of us are perfect. We need to accept that and move on. Yet, some people can’t. We all have that friend, the one who stops and glances in every mirror checking her hair, her profile, and her butt. We have that friend that lifts their shirt just a little to have a glance at their tummy and groan as they slap their non-existent pooch area. What is it that I’m supposed to say to this girl about her weight?

Truth is, I want to smack her. Smack her hard in the face with a loaded baked potato and tell her to eat it all, even the skin and make sure she drinks that entire glass of milk. Alas, I can’t. I don’t really feel like a restraining order will do much for my blogging or keeping my real job. But, what do we do? What do we say and more importantly, how do they feel about me if I’m twice their size?

Them: God, I am so fat! What the hell was I thinking when I ate... (fill in the dots here).
Me: Same thing I was – You were hungry
What I should of said – (You aren’t fat, you’re actually just out of your damn mind. You should have eaten two you skinny B!)

Them: Have you seen the size of my ass?!
Me: Have you seen the size of mine?
Then: Oh, shut up, that’s different.
(How the hell is it different? I way 150lbs more than you! That’s what the hell the difference is!)

Them: Grrr, do you see this roll?
Me: What roll? Your pants are too damn tight girl.
Them:  The pants are fine. I'm talking about this... this...This muffin-top!
Me: (You don’t have a muffin-top you ass, your pants are just a size too small.)



The biggest issues that I find are:

  1. Some women are very self-conscious and uncomfortable in their own body. They refuse to buy clothing that fits because they don’t like the number associated with it. A good friend would respond that they should get the size they think they wear, a size up and a size down since EVERY cut can be a little different. (I’ve found that sometimes my friends end up with a smaller size and it makes the day so much better).
  2. Tags Tags Tags . Too many times women are obsessed with how much something costs. I don’t have money, not by any means but a good friend of mine always told me to try everything you love on and if you have time, everything you don’t. You’d be surprised what looks good on you and what you are willing to spend on that ONE PAIR of super expensive jeans that fit perfect and don’t give you a saggy bottom, FUPA, camel toe or worse, a muffin top.
  3. Remember your age ladies. My very own mother, who has a rocking body, often forgets that the reason the junior clothing is not in the misses is because women of a certain age and yes, even build, shouldn’t wear the same clothing as their smaller younger counterparts. Don’t borrow from your daughter unless it’s a cardigan, wrap, scarf or basic like cami or tee.


If my dear friends who are thin, beautiful and talented are looking at their own weight as something holding them back from success, love and fashion all I can ask is... what do you think of me? Can I really be the pits since I’m in a much more extreme situation then you.

The answer my friends is NO. They don’t think bad of you, maybe of the print on the shirt you’ve chosen but they say this to you for the same reason you say it to your own pleasantly plump friends – support. Listen, no one is 100% happy with their bodies and your skinny friends are just sharing their insecurities with you. Be patient, be kind and when you get home, secretly hate them.

They love you, they think you are wonderful but I am a true believer that women of size have more self-confidence at times then most think. We know we don’t fit the mold and even if we don’t like that, on some weird and whacked out way, we accept it. Sure we want to be healthy but as I always say, it’s about being beautiful on the inside and out my dear friends, and that will shine though. As for those skinny girls, help them through and if you’re like me, you’ll secretly wish they get fat. HAHA. JK. 

In the end it's about confidence. Confidence knowing that you are a wonderful, beautiful and kick-ass woman who, has a little more then some. That doesn't make you less beautiful, educated, funny, loving and wonderful. You'd be surprised how many people compliment me on my confidence. Have fun, love life!!!


Try these books out for size. They are great for all and let me tell you, you'll look at food and people in a whole new way.

Skinny BitchSkinny Bitch in the Kitch: Kick-Ass Recipes for Hungry Girls Who Want to Stop Cooking Crap (and Start Looking Hot!)Skinny Bitch in a BoxSkinny Couple in a Box


  1. All I can honestly say is wow. You took the words right out of my mouth. Is that even possible?
    It's so comforting to know that I am not the ONLY who has these feelings. I've always been bigger than my girlfriends and when they tell me they're fat, you're right, I just want to shove a loaded potato in their mouths plus the whole damn steak, because if they think they're fat, then what does that make me? But I've come to realize that because of my weight and having had to deal with the put downs and the negativity my whole life, I'm a heck of a lot more confident than any of my skinny friends.
    To all you "Fat", "Cute", "Chubby", "Unfit", "Pudgy", etc I can only say one thing. Rock on my friends! You're a lot stronger than you think and even more beautiful than anyone will ever know or acknowledge!

  2. I often go to the fitness. I am always surrounded by skinny people. I once asked, you look good, really perfect. She (size 36 Belgium)answered...don't you see the rolls of fat around my waste?
    I was completely in sweat, my hair in my face, red face...and I said....well that you mention
    Kiss and have a nice day girls!!

  3. I have a cousin who has some hips on her but other then that she is really skinny, I'm talking tummy, legs, arms...everything else! She's constantly telling me shes fat and she can't find clothes to fit her and that she needs to lose weight. And when I laugh and say how crazy she is...that she should take a look at me and then feel a whole lot better about her self she always says and I quote "I wish I looked like you...then at least I would have an excuse to not fit into clothes"!!! Cousins mind you! I'm so used to it now I just don't even comment about her being "fat" anymore and if I do I just agree with her and move on!

  4. Exactly! You said it perfectly! I hate when girls who are a size 6 complain about how hard it is to find clothes. I mean c'mon now, REALLY? My best friend is this way, to the point of where I told her she was annoying about it, that didn't shut her up, so I started agreeing with her on everything she said about herself. That shut her up REAL quick.

  5. Haha! You ladies crack me up! I'm working on the second part to this, and I want to apologize - I free write. No editing, no over-thinking -just verbal vomit. Please excuse the spelling errors and grammatical accidents.

    P.S. - I got blown up with the giveaway. Results should be in soon!

  6. Yea, what she said! I touch on this too on my blog - not quite as in-depth (because I have the attention span of a three year old) but AMEN!
    "Because sometimes, it's just funny"

  7. I agree with you, but it is so hard for me to practice the same attitude. I have found that I am treated differently since I have put on 20 pounds in the past two years. It is a discouraging society we live in.