That "Fat" Skinny B!!! (Part 1)

I have this friend you see. She’s wonderful and I love her face off to death, but I find more and more that skinny people who think they are fat make me in-freaking-sane. Now, as most of you know, I tend to write in a professional and compassionate manner, but girls, how much can we possibly take of our friends ranting on and on that they are fat, plump, pudgie, or thick when they are none of the above? I can no longer do it.

There is something beautiful in every one of us. None of us are perfect. We need to accept that and move on. Yet, some people can’t. We all have that friend, the one who stops and glances in every mirror checking her hair, her profile, and her butt. We have that friend that lifts their shirt just a little to have a glance at their tummy and groan as they slap their non-existent pooch area. What is it that I’m supposed to say to this girl about her weight?

Truth is, I want to smack her. Smack her hard in the face with a loaded baked potato and tell her to eat it all, even the skin and make sure she drinks that entire glass of milk. Alas, I can’t. I don’t really feel like a restraining order will do much for my blogging or keeping my real job. But, what do we do? What do we say and more importantly, how do they feel about me if I’m twice their size?

Them: God, I am so fat! What the hell was I thinking when I ate... (fill in the dots here).

Me: Same thing I was – You were hungry

What I should of said – (You aren’t fat, you’re actually just out of your damn mind. You should have eaten two you skinny B!)

Them: Have you seen the size of my ass?!

Me: Have you seen the size of mine?

Then: Oh, shut up, that’s different.

(How the hell is it different? I way 150lbs more than you! That’s what the hell the difference is!)

Them: Grrr, do you see this roll?

Me: What roll? Your pants are too damn tight girl.

Them:  The pants are fine. I'm talking about this... this...This muffin-top!

Me: (You don’t have a muffin-top you ass, your pants are just a size too small.)

THIS WOULD BE THE SKINNY VERSION OF A MUFFIN TOP - BUY A SIZE BIGGER!

THIS WOULD BE THE ASSUMPTION OF A PLUMP WOMAN AND HER CLOTHING!

The biggest issues that I find are:

1. Some women are very self-conscious and uncomfortable in their own body. They refuse to buy clothing that fits because they don’t like the number associated with it. A good friend would respond that they should get the size they think they wear, a size up and a size down since EVERY cut can be a little different. (I’ve found that sometimes my friends end up with a smaller size and it makes the day so much better).
2. Tags Tags Tags . Too many times women are obsessed with how much something costs. I don’t have money, not by any means but a good friend of mine always told me to try everything you love on and if you have time, everything you don’t. You’d be surprised what looks good on you and what you are willing to spend on that ONE PAIR of super expensive jeans that fit perfect and don’t give you a saggy bottom, FUPA, camel toe or worse, a muffin top.
3. Remember your age ladies. My very own mother, who has a rocking body, often forgets that the reason the junior clothing is not in the misses is because women of a certain age and yes, even build, shouldn’t wear the same clothing as their smaller younger counterparts. Don’t borrow from your daughter unless it’s a cardigan, wrap, scarf or basic like cami or tee.

BUT LADIES, THIS IS WHAT IT COMES DOWN TO:

If my dear friends who are thin, beautiful and talented are looking at their own weight as something holding them back from success, love and fashion all I can ask is... what do you think of me? Can I really be the pits since I’m in a much more extreme situation then you.

The answer my friends is NO. They don’t think bad of you, maybe of the print on the shirt you’ve chosen but they say this to you for the same reason you say it to your own pleasantly plump friends – support. Listen, no one is 100% happy with their bodies and your skinny friends are just sharing their insecurities with you. Be patient, be kind and when you get home, secretly hate them.

They love you, they think you are wonderful but I am a true believer that women of size have more self-confidence at times then most think. We know we don’t fit the mold and even if we don’t like that, on some weird and whacked out way, we accept it. Sure we want to be healthy but as I always say, it’s about being beautiful on the inside and out my dear friends, and that will shine though. As for those skinny girls, help them through and if you’re like me, you’ll secretly wish they get fat. HAHA. JK. 

In the end it's about confidence. Confidence knowing that you are a wonderful, beautiful and kick-ass woman who, has a little more then some. That doesn't make you less beautiful, educated, funny, loving and wonderful. You'd be surprised how many people compliment me on my confidence. Have fun, love life!!!

Kristen

XOXO

Try these books out for size. They are great for all and let me tell you, you'll look at food and people in a whole new way.